People Are Having Less Sex, But Does It Really Matter?

As women approach menopause, they often experience a decline in sexual activity. This can be due to bodily changes like vaginal dryness, hypoactive sexual disorder (low libido), and other symptoms associated with a change in hormones.

However, in recent years, numerous studies have pointed out a significant drop in sexual activity across various demographics, not just menopausal women.

There has been a documented decline in sexual activity among young people. A 2022 nationally representative U.S. survey conducted by the Kinsey Institute and Lovehoney, involving 2,000 adults, found that one in four Gen Z adults reported never having had partnered sex. Additionally, the study revealed a significant gender divide, with men being more likely than women to report never having engaged in partnered sex (one in three men compared to one in five women).

This trend raises a lot of questions about its effects on relationships, mental health, and societal norms. But does it matter? Is sex important, and if so, why?

Understanding the Decline

Research shows that younger generations, particularly those between 18 and 29 years old, are having less sex than older generations did at the same age. For instance, a study conducted in the U.S. found that the percentage of sexually active individuals in this age group dropped from 54% in 1989 to just 43% in 2018. Factors such as an increased focus on personal growth, career ambitions, and the prevalence of digital communication shape this trend.

Additionally, many women cite concern over the cost of raising a family and anxiety over access to reproductive care, such as abortion and the morning-after pill.

Dating apps, while providing new ways to meet potential partners, often lead to shallow interactions. An average user may spend less than 10% of their time engaging in meaningful conversations, resulting in a diminished quest for deeper, more genuine connections.

This shift can explain why many are now valuing emotional intimacy over physical encounters.

The Impact on Relationships

A decrease in sexual activity can significantly affect romantic relationships. For many couples, sex enhances intimacy and connection. Research by the Institute for Family Studies shows that people who engage in regular sex experience better health, higher quality relationships, and overall greater happiness compared to those who do not.

Sexual activity encourages couples to communicate openly and honestly about their desires and boundaries, causing a ripple effect of improved communication throughout other aspects of the partnership.

Sex fosters a sense of intimacy, closeness, and trust between partners.

Mental Health Considerations

Sexual activity is often tied to mental health and overall well-being. The physical act of sex releases endorphins, oxytocin, and other hormones that elevate mood and mitigate stress. A drop in sexual encounters might increase feelings of loneliness or anxiety for specific individuals.

Yet, on the flip side, for some, reduced sexual activity provides a window for self-reflection and personal growth. This phase of introspection can enhance mental health by allowing individuals to gain clarity on their needs and desires. There is evidence that people who sought emotional and mental well-being during a period of reduced sexual activity experienced improved personal satisfaction as a result.

Societal Norms and Expectations

The decline in sexual activity mirrors shifting societal values. In earlier generations, sex was often regarded as a rite of passage or a necessary part of adult life. Today, many prioritize personal fulfillment and self-discovery, sometimes over traditional markers of adulthood.

This evolution challenges long-standing beliefs about intimacy. As society progresses, so does our understanding of love and connection. The decline in sexual activity may not signify a negative trend, but rather a reflection of a more profound comprehension of human relationships.

It's hard to know!

The Role of Technology

Technology significantly influences modern relationships. While dating apps and social media can make it easier to connect, they may also inhibit genuine intimacy. People may feel that online communication leads to less meaningful interactions compared to face-to-face conversations.

Furthermore, easily accessible adult content (AKA porn) can create unrealistic expectations surrounding sexual encounters. Research found that individuals exposed to excessive adult material may experience an increase in dissatisfaction within their relationships, as real-life encounters often do not meet these inflated expectations.

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Does It Matter?

The important question remains: Does the decline in sexual activity truly matter? The answer can vary greatly for each individual. For some, sexual intimacy is vital to their sense of happiness and fulfillment. In contrast, others may find more value in emotional connections and personal growth.

Ultimately, the importance of sexual activity depends on personal values and relationship specifics. It is essential to understand that intimacy comes in various forms, and the quality of connections we build with others can hold more value.

Finding Balance

So many of my clients come to me with a concern about their sex life and/or lack thereof. The first thing I do is let them know that this is common and they're not alone.

Then I ask the most important question: "Do you want things to be different?"

If the answer is yes, we work on figuring out the cause, which can be so many different things. Only then can we work on finding a solution. In many cases, that means seeking professional assistance from a sex therapist or speaking to your doctor about adding testosterone to your Menopause Hormone Therapy (MHT) regimen.

Additionally, exploring new ways to connect—like shared hobbies or experiences—can foster intimacy. Couples who prioritize emotional closeness often find their relationships become more fulfilling, regardless of how often they engage in sexual encounters.