The best advocate for you is you!
When Donna first came to me, she was very interested in trying Menopause Hormone Therapy (MHT). My usual process is to provide information on MHT when asked. We then discuss the treatment’s pros and cons. If my client decides to proceed with MHT, they make an appointment with their current gynecologist to discuss treatment.
This is where things can get a bit tricky.
A 2023 survey found that only 31.3% of obstetrics and gynecology (OB/GYN) residency programs include a menopause curriculum. As a result, the likelihood that your doctor has current knowledge and training in menopause care is pretty slim.
Donna had been seeing the same gynecologist for several years. When I asked her about her experience with this doctor, she noted that although her gynecologist didn't have the best bedside manner, she felt confident in the doctor's abilities because she had prescribed MHT for a friend who had also seen her. With that, Donna scheduled her appointment, and we planned to check in later.
I texted her the day after she saw her doctor to see how things went. Unfortunately, it wasn’t great, even though we did some prepping.
Since Donna always felt rushed by this practitioner, I asked her to prepare a list of discussion items to make the most of their time. Sadly, this annoyed her doctor, and she proceeded to treat Donna like an “idiot” (her words, not mine). The doctor then blamed her for not talking to her about this sooner and for not requesting menopausal hormone therapy during her first signs of menopause.
Huh?
Last time, it's the doctor's job to diagnose and walk their patient through all available treatment options. I mean, would you blame a cancer patient for not asking for chemo?!?
In the end, the doctor made her cry out of frustration.
I wish I could say this experience is unique. Earlier in my career, when I was still in training, my best friend texted me in tears from the parking lot of her gynecologist's office, sharing a similar story. This scenario was the first of many similar experiences I would encounter in the following years.
Many of my clients share a common thread: they have all faced doctors who undermined their power and autonomy. These doctors seemed to believe that their medical degrees granted them the authority to condescend to patients for daring to ask questions and take an active role in their treatment.
Here’s the thing. A doctor should never make you feel small. Nobody should!
I imagine you wouldn’t tolerate that kind of treatment in your everyday life, so why should you accept it from a doctor? Yet, so many women are gaslit and made to feel stupid or worse, CRAZY.
I am not claiming that all doctors are bad. There are incredible practitioners out there, but it can be challenging to find a doctor who feels more like a partner and less like your sh*tty boss at work. Add the extra layer of finding someone who is menopause literate, and it can be even harder.
Trust me. I’ve been there, and finding the right medical practitioner requires a lot of effort. Researching, navigating health insurance, making calls, preparing, and reviewing all the necessary information takes time. Then you cross your fingers and hope the person you booked works out.
It's exhausting and time-consuming!
That’s why I’ve put together a resource guide to help you speak to your doctor, possibly break up with your doctor, and find a qualified menopause specialist.
You deserve compassion, kindness, and information about all available treatment options. This way, YOU can determine the best course of treatment for yourself.
Not only are you the best expert on you, but you're the best advocate for you!
Download the free Advocate guide here.
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