How to Protect Your Nervous System During the Holidays

Let’s clear something up right away: The holidays are not a test of your discipline, willpower, metabolism, or emotional resilience.

They’re just… a lot.

A lot of food. A lot of obligations. A lot of social energy, expectations, travel, family dynamics, and disrupted routines.

For women in midlife, this can hit even harder. Hormonal changes, increased responsibilities, and chronic stress can make the holiday season feel overwhelming rather than joyful. If you’re feeling exhausted, irritable, or checked out, you’re not broken—your nervous system is responding exactly as designed.

Why Holiday Stress Hits Harder in Midlife

During midlife, your nervous system is often already under strain. Declining estrogen levels can affect sleep, mood, and stress tolerance, while work, caregiving, and social obligations pile on.

Add the holidays, and suddenly:

• Your schedule is packed

• Your routine is gone

• Your sleep is off

• Your body is less forgiving

  
  

This isn’t a personal failure. It’s physiology.

Understanding this is the first step toward managing holiday stress in a way that actually supports your health.

The Myth of the “Perfect” Holiday

We’ve been sold the idea that the holidays should be:

• Magical

• Meaningful

• Calm

• Productive

• Beautiful

• Emotionally fulfilling

  
  

All at the same time.

In reality, that expectation alone can dysregulate your nervous system. When you feel pressure to “do it all” and “enjoy every moment,” stress hormones rise—and joy becomes harder to access.

A Nervous-System-First Approach to the Holidays

Instead of asking:

• How do I stay on track? Ask: What helps me feel regulated?

Instead of:

• How do I avoid overdoing it? Ask: What actually matters this year?

Instead of:

• Why can’t I just relax? Ask: What support does my body need right now?

This is a nervous-system-first approach and is especially important during midlife.

Holiday Stress Management: What Actually Helps

You don’t need an elaborate self-care routine. Small, consistent supports are far more effective.

Try this simple daily anchor:

Once a day, ask yourself:What would make this moment feel 10% easier?

Not better. Not perfect. Just easier.

That might mean:

• Sitting down instead of pushing through

• Taking a few slow breaths

• Stepping outside

• Saying no (without explaining yourself)

• Letting something be “good enough”

  
  

These micro-adjustments help signal safety to your nervous system—and that’s where real resilience comes from.

Permission Slips You’re Allowed to Use

You have permission to:

• Eat the holiday food without guilt

• Leave events early or skip them entirely

• Say no without a backstory

• Feel joy and grief at the same time

• Let this season look different from how it used to be

  
  

Supporting your nervous system is not selfish. It’s essential—especially in midlife.

As the Year Winds Down

The holidays often trigger reflection: what worked, what didn’t, and what you’re quietly ready to release.

You don’t need resolutions. You don’t need a January reset.

Sometimes the most powerful form of holiday self-care is meeting yourself with compassion instead of criticism.

Be grateful for what’s good. Laugh at what’s absurd. Release what’s draining. Eat what’s delicious. Nap like it’s your job.

And if all else fails—tend your energy like a flame. Protect it, soften it, and let it be enough.